You Must Be Alive to Live Your Truth

Elizabeth asked me to do a post about living my truth some time ago. I didn’t do it because I wasn’t living my truth

I Used to Think I Was Clever

Do you know why Americans call it “fast food”? Because it speeds them on their way to their graves. —Chiun, Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins

This was me for the last thirty years, at least. I was always finding ways to get more done in less time. I was extremely efficient. I’d save time by eating fast food. Why waste an hour when you visit a drive through and get your food in two minutes flat? I’d eat lunch while driving back to my workplace or eat it at my desk while I worked through lunch. I got a hell of a lot done.

I discovered that I could be even more efficient by skipping meals. “Breakfast? Bah, who needs it? I’ll grab a Coke. Breakfast of Champions.” Energy levels drop? Have another soda. The Gates of Hell spring open at the day job? Skip lunch, grab another Coke. I was up to six to eight 20 oz. of sodas a day. I’m not talking a brief period of time, for decades I drank six to eight 20 oz. of sodas a day.

Exercise who has time for it? Besides, exercise sucks. I would rather do anything instead of exercising. I’ve been skinny all my life. Never needed to do exercise before, why start now?

That is the recipe for disaster. Conceptually, I understood the old cliché about burning the candle at both ends. But somehow, I had failed to grasp that I was becoming a burned out stub of a candle.

My Liver Shut Down First

My body… officially hates me. —Morgan Spurlock, Supersize Me

About seven years back, I got a new job. A couple of weeks on the job and my liver shut down on me. When your liver shuts down, you have no energy: nothing, nada, zip.

I was admitted to the hospital. I was running on adrenalin only. I went through a barrage of tests and they could find nothing wrong. I did not have hepatitis A, B or C. My doctor could offer no explanation.

Years later, while watching the movie Supersize Me I formed a theory of what could have happened. Morgan Spurlock’s doctor noted the dramatic change in Spurlock’s liver after only twenty something days on a fast-food-only diet. His doctor advised Spurlock to stop his experiment because it was killing him.

After I left the hospital, I went back to my evil ways. Several years later, watching my mother struggle with diabetes, I decided that all that sugar wasn’t good for me and I switched from six to eight sodas a day to six to eight diet sodas a day: regular to unleaded.

After a year of diet sodas, I decided that I should quit those too. At first I had a tough time breaking the thirty year habit, but one day I decided to quit cold turkey. My secret was a “Jedi Mind Trick.” I had decided that “I don’t drink Cokes.” I had really decided and I had changed my self-image. I don’t drink Cokes. Not “Just this once.” Not ever. Period. No exceptions.

Many times in the following weeks, I found myself in front of a soda machine, with no idea how I got there, and a dollar bill in my hand. I would remind myself, “I don’t drink Cokes,” nod to myself, and walk away. This simple tactic gave me a small victory that gave me hope that I could change other parts of my life as well.

My Kidneys Go on Strike

Fresh from kicking a thirty year soda habit, my kidneys decided to go on strike. During a routine doctor visit, my blood tests came back with a warning that my kidneys were filtering blood below normal levels. On the lab report was a paragraph in bold that said if this problem continued for three months, it was an indicator of CKD.

I went home thinking WTF is that? So, I googled it and found that CKD is chronic kidney disease which used to be called end-stage renal failure. That’s where your kidney shut down and you either need dialysis or you need a kidney transplant. Either way, it’s not good.

I was devastated. I’ve got two young kids—One is ten. One is four—I want to attend their weddings. I want to be there for them when they need me. I want to live to see my grandkids. Heck, I want to live to see my great grandkids. Modern science should be able to keep us alive until we’re at least 120. Suddenly I was afraid I might die before I could reach retirement age.

I googled “reversal of kidney disease” and I didn’t find much in western medicine. I did find a few small studies where a small population of people had been able to reverse kidney disease with extreme diet changes.

I also found a reference to a man in Malaysia who needed dialysis, but couldn’t afford it, and was given one month to live. He learned Chi Kung, also spelled QiGong, a branch of traditional Chinese medicine that is a type of moving meditation. He reversed his kidney disease after 9 months. I have traveled to Florida twice to learn this 1,500-year-old Chinese approach to self-care.

Cosmos Chi Kung is a rare and ancient Chinese healing art. It was a well-kept secret for centuries and was virtually unknown in the US until recently. Cosmos Chi Kung is a specific style of Chi Kung (also spelled Qigong) that came from the famous Shaolin Monastery in China. The exercises involve simple physical movements, gentle breathing techniques, and a relaxed, meditative state of mind. —FlowingZen.com

Another documentary influenced my thinking on diet: Raw for 30 Days. This film proposes that a raw food diet can cure diabetes. Watching this I experienced hope and a feeling of power. Maybe there is something I can do to attack my condition. I went went from eating fast food daily to eating raw, only fresh, unprocessed, uncooked food that came straight from ground for forty days and saw improvement at my next visit to my doctor.

That diet had it’s drawbacks, so I’ve had to test changes: I went from raw to vegetarian to flexitarian. The best way to describe how I need to eat now is: Lot’s of veggies and nuts, a bit of fruit, and a bit of eggs, fish, grass-fed beef, and range-free chicken. I drink water or tea. That is all.

I systematically tried out all these approaches, living with them them a couple of months and gauging the results my doctor’s blood tests. Each helped me, but not completely. I have now come upon the conclusion that I don’t have to change one thing, I have to change everything.

Take Care of Yourself First, Stupid

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like and do what you’d rather not. —Mark Twain

I have a problem taking care of myself. I have no idea why but I have been insanely stupid about self care. I will take care of everyone else, anyone else, first.

I am making major lifestyle changes to my life. They look simple on the surface: I have to eat and drink right. I have to exercise. I have to handle stress better. It has not been easy because I am not changing one thing: I am changing everything.

If I fail to plan, I fail. And I do fail. If I don’t have food prepared ahead of time, I will eat something that is not good for me. If I allow myself to get distracted by just one thing, it can derail my plans to exercise that evening. Getting myself to exercise regularly has been my greatest challenge.

I have to put my self-care first, by whatever means necessary. It is going to take focus. It will require me to change.

I have remember why I must do this and the consequences if I do not. There is nothing more important.

David Burch is @YourGoToGuy on Twitter. David is a member of Elizabeth”s “Live your Truth” Tribe, even though he dislikes the use of buzzwords like Tribe.

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