Guest post by Annette Nack.
Let me admit something. I’m not usually at a loss for words.
But when it comes to describing my truth, I get tongue tied. My mind goes off in a million different directions and I really can’t understand why.
I can write out a blog post of 800+ words in less than 10 minutes with little need for revision. I can easily explain via phone, text, blackberry messenger, twitter, email or face to face the who, what, when, where, why and how of any fitness, running, health, medical, nutritional, wellness- related questions or concerns.
But my truth?
I can’t do it.
I started to think that there might be something wrong with me. Why couldn’t I define what truth means to me? What was the hold-up? Where was I getting myself stuck?
That’s when I realized it.
(After many hours agonizing, after many drafts later, I finally “got” it.)
For me, there isn’t just one prevailing concept.
There isn’t just one thing that stands out.
It all stands out.
My passion for connection, for creativity, for exercise and movement, for helping others break-through boundaries, for my need to communicate, for my need for silence, for healing, for laughter, for family, for friends, for needing to be alone, for my faith and spirituality, for animals and nature, for healthy living, for fruits and vegetables, for wine and chocolate, for staying out late all night, for extreme self care, for loving with every ounce of my soul, for break downs before the break throughs.
All of this is a part of me and a part of my truth.
I cannot claim one without claiming all of them and more.
Let me put it to you this way, I think of my truth very much like an uncut diamond.
(I love bright, shiny objects so just go with me here.)
While I know at one point I’ll have more facets than I can count, right now I’m just aware of a few.
Some of them may reflect upon another, but all of them are individual in their own right.
As I polish myself up, as I learn more about who I am and what truth means to me, my facets are revealed and begin to shine a bit brighter.
The light of one facet helps to illuminate another just like the facets of my truth live to illuminate those that I haven’t quite embraced- or understood- yet.
Just as a diamond doesn’t begin as a diamond in its whole, finished form, my truth doesn’t begin or end as my truth itself began.
When I first began my journey, I was entirely unsure of myself and insecure to boot. And at times, my brain reverts back to that place and I have to fight myself tooth and nail to not stay there. As hard as it was to be there, it’s also sometimes hard to leave it.
It was safe. It was known. I knew my role in that time and I knew what was expected of me. I didn’t have to take chances. I didn’t have to step outside my box. I didn’t have anything special to live up to.
I find myself even today fighting that same insecurity and self-doubt as I search for that next layer of myself that leads to unveiling the next piece of my truth.
Sometimes I win the battle and sometimes I lose.
But each time, I learn a new lesson and I reveal a new side of myself- a new trait, a new fear, a new strength, a new thought, a new dream.
I need to be brave. I need to be strong and I need to not give into my fear and doubt.
I need to accept this ebb and flow as being a part of my truth, as being the measure of how determined I am to step up and live in my potential and in my authenticity.
My truth lives in all of this.
My truth will never be black or white. It will never be cut and dry.
But it will be wholly mine.
My truth may appear too scattered and disorganized for you. It may seem to have too many rough edges, too many dark sides but that’s just me.
My flaws and my struggles are what make me, me. My unorthodox way of living or obsessive-compulsive habits are what make me unique.
And I am claiming all of them right here, right now.
I am multi-passionate. I live to live every single moment of my life be it ugly or beautiful. I live with no regrets and with a never-ending thirst for new experiences, new people and new places.
My truth fits in beautifully with my life and as long as I accept that I won’t ever be that perfect, finished diamond, then my life will be happy and complete.
I will know that I am living my truth the best I know how.
And that’s all I’ll ever really need to know for sure.
So what is it that you need to know? What facets of yourself are you just learning about or that you’re struggling with?
My current struggle is with claiming the facet of my own potential. It’s scary and overwhelming but it’s also the next piece of my puzzle, the next step in my evolution.
So go on, share below. Find out where your next level lies. Find out what you have left to uncover as you strive to reveal your truth.
About the Author: When not playing with bright shiny objects, you can find Annette Nack beating up on her clients over their nutrition and fitness habits (hey, they ask for it!) at www.whatthebleepdoieat.com or you can find her on twitter writing whatever comes into her head @annettenack. In her spare time, Annette admits to eating more than her fair share of dark chocolate, training for yet another marathon and playing with her dog who acts more human than most humans she knows. And sometimes, doing all three at the same time.