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There Is No Done.

By on August 23, 2010 in Living Your Truth

I’m pacing the streets of the San Francisco financial district, carrying my Peet’s non-fat no-whip mocha & my Noah’s everything bagel, toasted, with all-the-fat cream cheese. Right-thumb typing this blog post in the Notes of my iPhone as I blindly cross intersections, following the suits.

Until I look up & realize I’ve arrived at the end. The Ferry Building.

And I start looking for that bench. On that pier. To sit and find the peace I desperately need.

Because this morning — I’m full.

I’m full of every feeling that exists.

Hundreds of worries are whorling in my brain.

Am I picking the right pre-K program for Gracie or ruining her for life? Will I be able to pull off the launch of Live Your Truth on Video or will I run out of money? How will I get through all that unanswered email? Where is the title for my car I sold yesterday? Did I pay the AT&T bill? When will I see him again? Why isn’t anyone texting me?

And hundreds of happies.

Relief from selling my car, and fun plans on how to spend the money. Excitement for next month’s speaking gig, for seeing my BFFs in September and October, for feeling the rhythm of my life finally coming together this fall. Joy that my daughter is healthy. Electricity tingling through me as I remember delicious events from the last few weekends.

And I wonder … is this how it will always be?

Does experiencing the deliciousness of life mean that I’ll constantly wake up with a live your truth hangover?

Then a text comes in from my BFF Allison Nazarian, laughing about the idiot thing I had done earlier that morning.

And as I see her name in front of me, I remember her new book, Love Your Mess. And I think … there you go, Elizabeth.

The mess. The whorlybrain. The pacing. The loss of sleep.

This chaos … is not something to fight. To work through. To be over. To finish.

The mess is it.

We are growing beings, expanding ourselves into our souls, into our truth, into the physical manifestation of our purposes on this earth.

And that brilliant process … is sticky.

Chaotic. Uncomfortable. Painfully real.

And at the same time … it’s full of ecstasy.

Growth. Challenge. Love. Sex. Money. Fun.

So sitting on that particular bench, I decided to recharacterize my whorlybrain (just like I recharacterized my uncomfortableness, 14 months ago.).

That feeling of chaos and uncertainty and not-being-there-yet is not bad. Is not something to struggle against or to cure or to move past.

The whorlybrain is me being real.

I will never be done with my whorlybrain. I will never be done with everything on my to do list. With all of my projects. I will never every relationship resolved. Have no conflict. No worries. No ego.

I will never move past whorlybrain into some zen state where my mind turns off and I float magically down the river of attraction, arriving on the island of all knowingness. And I’m finished. Done.

No.

Done isn’t going to happen.

The learning, the exploration, everything wonderful and terrible about that continuous expansion … there is nothing undesirable about it.

The growing is the point.

So instead of being angst filled about my whorlybrain this morning, I decided to be okay about my whorlybrain. Interested. Excited.

Take the whorlybrain as a sign. A sign that it’s all happening.

That the reason I’m so full is because I’m being pulled forward in the delicious and right (yet scary and stressful and profoundly real) direction.

I’m so full because I’m being invited to move past my boundaries, by the undeniable truth of my real.

–

Do you get whorlybrain? Do you get the feeling that you are not there yet? Do you think there is a “there” to get to?

Feel free to leave a comment below – I’d love to hear how this feels for you!

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  • http://www.taru.com Taru Fisher

    No offense taken at all. There's no one here to take offense. She disappeared a long time ago! I just wanted to put in a plug for elderwomen like me who were not satisfied with the so-called ordinary life.

  • http://www.taru.com Taru Fisher

    Yes, it was both the hardest thing I've ever done, and the best.

  • http://www.steadyflowcontent.com MonicaWB

    I love this. Presence doesn't have to be peaceful. Or peace doesn't have to be still. I've realized I'm most present and most at peace in my whorlybrain <<< Btw, the first time I read that word in one of your posts, I finally had what I considered an accurate name for it. ha!
    I have no desire to quiet the thoughts – just want more space/time to have them.

  • Jenny

    Love this post! Supports an idea I subscribe to: when you’re done, you’re dead.

  • http://www.juliemillettvox.com Julie Millett

    “That the reason I’m so full is because I’m being pulled forward in the delicious and right (yet scary and stressful and profoundly real) direction.”

    I have certainly felt that — and not just fullness, but discomfort and a bit of overwhelm. And – gulp – that’s okay. Sometimes I feel as though I go through some great expansion, and then I have to stretch into my new self or situation. Sometimes the stretch is obviously joyful and incredibly juicy, but other times, it’s creaky, awkward, and very uncomfortable. But, as you point out, that’s the journey.

  • http://twitter.com/SusanGiurleo Dr. Susan Giurleo

    Ah, this post is so “normalizing: for me! I have whorlybrain all the time and enjoy it for the most part. It’s my creative energy and ideas all smashing into each other. i’ve learned to live with the chaos and love what’s not done. I live with a husband with ADHD and a child who is hyperactive–we have a lot of things “undone.” Beds, cleaning, organization –but rather than focus on what we have not, we focus on the things we have, including a relatively happy group of people moving forward in an imperfect life!

  • http://website-in-a-weekend.net/ Dave Doolin

    Sometimes, happiness is as simple as “This half-full bottle of Chambord is 5 years old. Why am I keeping this? Stupid. It turned years ago.”

    Then pouring it down the drain.

    And recycling the bottle.

    Feels good.

  • http://twitter.com/iam_deb Deb Colgan

    I call mine “brain spins” I like whorlybrain though, nice touch! I’m still waiting for someone to invent me a 48 hour day. Prolly still won’t get everything done and that also means my brain can spin for twice the time each day. Ugh.

  • Jenny

    Love this post! Supports an idea I subscribe to: when you're done, you're dead.

  • http://www.discoveringdelicious.com Darcie Newton

    You have a way with words…we haven’t met but I can almost hear you speaking your post to me…it is real and profound without getting preachy. Thank you for showing your vulnerability and sharing your revelations.

  • http://www.juliemillettvox.com Julie Millett

    “That the reason I'm so full is because I'm being pulled forward in the delicious and right (yet scary and stressful and profoundly real) direction.”

    I have certainly felt that — and not just fullness, but discomfort and a bit of overwhelm. And – gulp – that's okay. Sometimes I feel as though I go through some great expansion, and then I have to stretch into my new self or situation. Sometimes the stretch is obviously joyful and incredibly juicy, but other times, it's creaky, awkward, and very uncomfortable. But, as you point out, that's the journey.

  • http://www.MavenDiary.com Wendy Maynard

    Hi Taru,

    I'm the child of a couple of urban beatniks and my husband is a hippie kid. Oh the stories I've heard about our parents in the 50s and 60s! Believe me, my mom met and surpassed any wild things I've done. So I really appreciate your comment. There were a lot of people seeking their own truth 50-60 years ago.

    But…just like today there were lots of sheep who didn't want to think for themselves. Baaaaaa!

  • http://twitter.com/susangiurleo susangiurleo

    Ah, this post is so “normalizing: for me! I have whorlybrain all the time and enjoy it for the most part. It's my creative energy and ideas all smashing into each other. i've learned to live with the chaos and love what's not done. I live with a husband with ADHD and a child who is hyperactive–we have a lot of things “undone.” Beds, cleaning, organization –but rather than focus on what we have not, we focus on the things we have, including a relatively happy group of people moving forward in an imperfect life!

  • http://website-in-a-weekend.net/ Dave Doolin

    Sometimes, happiness is as simple as “This half-full bottle of Chambord is 5 years old. Why am I keeping this? Stupid. It turned years ago.”

    Then pouring it down the drain.

    And recycling the bottle.

    Feels good.

  • http://twitter.com/iam_deb Deb Colgan

    I call mine “brain spins” I like whorlybrain though, nice touch! I'm still waiting for someone to invent me a 48 hour day. Prolly still won't get everything done and that also means my brain can spin for twice the time each day. Ugh.

  • http://www.mywealthspa.com Darcie Newton

    You have a way with words…we haven't met but I can almost hear you speaking your post to me…it is real and profound without getting preachy. Thank you for showing your vulnerability and sharing your revelations.

  • http://twitter.com/a_creative_life Melissa Dinwiddie

    The fact that there is no done is something I only came to realize in the past year or two, and I still fall back into the habit of waiting for the done. The occasional reminder that, nope, there is no done, is actually kind of comforting.

    Thanks for putting it all so eloquently.

  • http://twitter.com/a_creative_life Melissa Dinwiddie

    The fact that there is no done is something I only came to realize in the past year or two, and I still fall back into the habit of waiting for the done. The occasional reminder that, nope, there is no done, is actually kind of comforting.

    Thanks for putting it all so eloquently.

  • http://www.taru.com Taru Fisher

    Yes, Wendy. There are always sleepy sheep in every society, just waiting (unknowingly) for someone or some event to come along and jar them awake. I was a sleepy sheep for awhile when I bought into the June Cleaver role at age 20, but I was always somehow dissatisfied deep down and couldn't figure out why until the pressure became so intense it was do or die. I feel a great sense of compassion for those sleepy sheep because I was one.

  • http://pioneeroutfitters.com/AlaskaChickBlog/ Amber-Lee Dibble

    Terribly happy that I was sent here! I began this journey (as I call it) in February and whorlybrain hadn’t introduced himself to me, just took up residence. Thanks for introducing me!
    How does it feel? Right. Just plain right. I’m glad I found you, I’ll bet a lot of things become clear visiting your posts and hopefully getting to know you. Thanks for this.

  • girlygrizzly

    Terribly happy that I was sent here! I began this journey (as I call it) in February and whorlybrain hadn't introduced himself to me, just took up residence. Thanks for introducing me!
    How does it feel? Right. Just plain right. I'm glad I found you, I'll bet a lot of things become clear visiting your posts and hopefully getting to know you. Thanks for this.

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