Guest post by Jacki Yovanoff.
What the hell does that mean anyway? I think it means doing my own thing – what I need to do – not in a selfish way, but in a self-fulfilling way. There’s a big difference there, don’t you think?
It’s going with my gut rather than listening to well-intentioned anchors in my life. It’s going with my instincts instead of listening to that huge fear-based monster that lives deep within me. And trust me. That monster is big. And hairy. And loud. In fact, today it’s REALLY loud. And for the past couple hours I’ve been feeding it with doubt and fear and guilt. That’s why I sat down and started writing this post. I’m beating down that monster as I type every character.
I’m not really sure I should even be writing a post about living my truth yet, but I’m sure a lot closer to being at that place than I was a year ago. I did a lot of soul searching when I was laid off – or found redundant or downsized or whatever you want to call it – almost 9 months ago.
I realized, while talking with an awesome someone I met via Twitter (and now consider a good tell-me-the-honest-truth friend), that I was spending all my “spare” time designing books.
Why not make that my business?! Awesome AHA! moment. I felt it in my gut.
I was asked by someone I greatly respect, admire and look to for guidance, “Do you really think you can make this book design thing work?” (translation, “I don’t really think you can make this book design this work.”) I just said, “Yes. I do.”
Instead of justifying myself or arguing my point to someone who really doesn’t get this desire to carve my own path and follow my heart instead of going the easy route, I just said, “Yes. I do.” Why argue? Why spend my energy justifying myself? My energy is much better spent aligning itself with other positive energy, rather than using it to deflect negative thoughts.
I now have a theme song – the Glee version of Defying Gravity – and am listening to “me” a lot more closely. I’m seeing signs that are there. I was hit with a big one after my last job interview and I actually said out loud, to just me, “I get it.”
It’s hard to explain, but I almost feel as if I’m resonating at a different energy level than I was last year. Up until a few months ago, I was focusing on who I should be. I’m finally starting to focus on who I am.
I’m doing things I would never have believed I would do. I walked a labyrinth. I will be doing that again, for sure. I went outside under last month’s full moon and just talked to the moon for bit. (And no, it didn’t talk back.) The moonlight was amazingly refreshing and calming. I highly recommend it.
It’s been a really interesting 9 months. I have gotten to know “me” a lot better. I really “got” Twitter around that same time, too. I have connected with so many incredibly awesometastic people. EPW being one of them. I’ve found so much support. Opportunities are presenting themselves. (Whether they resonate with me or not, they are there.) It’s just amazing.
In some ways, it’s a daily struggle to keep living my truth, and it’s scary as hell.
But, that’s how I know it’s right.
“I’m through accepting limits ’cause someone says they’re so.”
“It’s time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap!”
About Jacki Yovanoff: Mommy of two. Wife of one. Looking at some exciting life paths to take. Social media enthusiast, book designer, blogger and lover of (almost) anything 80s. Find her on twitter at @JackiYo.
I'm Elizabeth Potts Weinstein, a writer, teacher, and coach.
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