I'm Not Sorry About Selling.

By Elizabeth Potts Weinstein on January 30, 2010 in Marketing and Making Money

I was going to write a blog post about my last relaunch (for 4 Weeks to Video).

How unlike every launch I have ever done, for the very first time, I met my membership goals. Actually, I surpassed my goals.

I was going to share the strategies I used in creating buzz, crafting the offer, the timing, the freebies. How I put the opt-in and the sales page on the same page, even when the program wasn’t open. The beta test. The limited time lower price. What went in the emails and the ustream classes. Those last few email blasts and tweets.

And how I was going to use these tactics on my next relaunch (for 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth).

Then I realized I couldn’t.

I couldn’t use these tactics because I backed myself into a corner in The Live Your Truth Project.

And I couldn’t write the blog post because the launch didn’t work because of tactics. It worked because of something else.

Here’s my truth.

For a long time, I was taught the nasty sales strategies of never taking no for an answer. Pushing. Closing.

I had upsells. Annoying popups. Big red headlines. Results based testimonials. Automatic recurring charges. Tricky subjects in the email blasts. Hype.

I scared the crap out of you. Told you that if you didn’t buy this, it would ruin your life. You would fail.

If you didn’t buy this, you were wasting your time. You would be a fool.

Then … I got religion about this selling stuff thing.

Selling is bad. Taking advantage of people. Short-sighted. Old fashioned.

Thank god, because I hated selling. Ick.

Now it’s about …

“Sharing Amazing Content!”

and

“Building the Relationship!”

That’s the big movement, the big shift that’s happening in our industries, in social media, in business. Right?

Yes. No. Well, not exactly.

By themselves, sharing content and building relationships are just more pillars to hide behind.

Another way to keep us from fully realizing our brilliance. Another oversimplification distracting from why were are really here.

Dude. This is not a freaking nonprofit.

If I can’t make money, I can’t do this anymore.

As much as I would love to live off of blog comments and emails and @replies, …. well, you get the point.

And there is nothing wrong with that. Actually, it’s a good thing.

The Work that we are doing here is not about one extreme or the other.

It’s about balance. The third tribe. Finding a way to create something amazing and change people’s lives while building a real business.

It’s about transparency. Being completely honest that the reason I’m giving away all this content is so you can try it out to see if you want to buy the thing.

It’s about caring. I want you to succeed. I want you to learn this stuff.

If you have this problem, if you resonate with me, if you know this is the right solution for you, then damnit, buy this!

And, if you don’t have this problem right now, if you’re not quite sure about me, if you don’t feel in your gut that this is right for you … then damnit, don’t buy it.

That’s why the 4 Weeks to Video launch worked. Not because of how I did it. Not the steps. Not the tactics. Those were all just natural expressions that flowed from the real reason this launch worked.

The launch worked because I cared. But I didn’t just care about you. I also cared about me.

I cared about me being compensated for the work I do, for my expertise, for my brilliance, for what I love to create.

I cared about making money to pay the rent. I cared about being able to eat. I cared about being able to pay for the stuff my kid needs.

I cared about going on crazy new adventures and traveling to hang out with my best friends.

So I’m ripping apart the launch plan for 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth.

I’m making every decision, writing every piece of copy, making every video, scheduling every ustream … from that place.

From the place of caring about you. And the place of caring about me.

I’ll let you know how that works out.

–

I teach that we should always put a call to action at the end of every blog post to get people to comment on the post. Asking a specific question, what you think about xyz, what was your experience with this situation, whatever.

I don’t know what to ask you today.

So, if you like, please answer the question you wished I had asked.

I really love reading your comments and want to hear from you.

#thatisall

decision, relationship, transparency

← The #1 Most Important Thing re Video

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http://BestSellerAuthors.com Warren Whitlock

The tactics and pillars help guide buyers to what they want… but you got to have something they want. That’s why you are successful
http://www.tonyteegarden.com Tony Teegarden

It's always so interesting to see peoples beliefs around selling when we're all clearly selling all the time. The couple that is married have been selling each other everyday (hopefully) on why they are together. Hell we even sell people on why we're not a sales person. Yeah that's called selling. Selling is nothing more than a transference of belief. That's it.

You clearly sold me on the fact that you believe in what your doing and more so believe in why you're doing it. The how to's are important but if it was just about the how to's we'd all be skinny rich and happy. Clearly it's the why to's that drive us.

Because your actions were congruent with your beliefs and you were transparent about it, you were able to connect on a much deeper level with people. So many of us struggle (Yes me toooo) with being congruent in our truth AND actions. That's where the problem can start.

I love what you stand for and being in your light, no matter how messy it may be be.
http://www.SandraMartini.com/blog Sandra Martini, Biz Mentor

Hey Elizabeth,

You couldn’t be more right! When I “launched” my latest program in November, I did it from a place totally unlike all the usual “don’t take no”, “bombard them with marketing”, “if people aren’t unsubscribing, you haven’t sent enough emails” hype.

It was from the place of “Here’s what the program offers. If this is an issue for you, check it out. If it works, great, let’s do it together. If not, no worries.” Period.

And a great thing happened, I sold out the program and, while I could have “sold” another 20 spots, I didn’t. Kept it true to what I wanted it to be and now it’s doing wonders for the members AND me.

And as a purchaser of your most recent product, I couldn’t be happier — both with the way you offered it and the content to date.

Keep up the fabulous work!

Love and hugs,

Sandy

http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Thanks Sandy, it was so great to see that you joined us in this program. And isn’t it funny how we all let go of those icky tactics, and things changed.

http://www.wickedlychic.com/ wickedlychic

Great post as usual. It really does have to go both ways…caring about me and caring about you. 4 years ago, I was such a newbie that I went the caring about you route full force. I learned, I learned. But not without completely falling in all of the potholes along the way

http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Yes, this is so huge for me because my default is to give and give and care about everyone else … and forget to take care of myself. And then I get burned out, resentful, etc. We can only give & take care of others once we are filled up … we give from our overflowing.

http://www.tonyteegarden.com Tony Teegarden

It’s always so interesting to see peoples beliefs around selling when we’re all clearly selling all the time. The couple that is married have been selling each other everyday (hopefully) on why they are together. Hell we even sell people on why we’re not a sales person. Yeah that’s called selling. Selling is nothing more than a transference of belief. That’s it.

You clearly sold me on the fact that you believe in what your doing and more so believe in why you’re doing it. The how to’s are important but if it was just about the how to’s we’d all be skinny rich and happy. Clearly it’s the why to’s that drive us.

Because your actions were congruent with your beliefs and you were transparent about it, you were able to connect on a much deeper level with people. So many of us struggle (Yes me toooo) with being congruent in our truth AND actions. That’s where the problem can start.

I love what you stand for and being in your light, no matter how messy it may be be.

http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

And you’re right … we are all selling all the time, we are all selling ourselves every day, to all the people we are in a relationship with, whether about business or in our personal lives. It is interesting how we get caught up in the badness of the “sell” word.

And thanks Tony, I think that admitting how messy I am is why some people resonate with me … because really, we’re all messy.

http://www.tolovesuccess.com/ Tanya Smith

I totally love that a small band of folks (you included!!) are finally getting to realise that an authentic business is ALL about the Relationship – not the latest turnkey whatever, or techie gismo!! Consumers (and we're all one of those) are getting so turned off by traditional hardsell on the net, that personality led businesses, if they are from a genuine place of contribution to others, stand out like a beacon
And yes, before you think I'm all woo-woo, we absolutely do need to be financially rewarded for that! It's finding the balance, and knowing that what we offer is genuinely what someone wants!
Fab post
elizabeth (successservis)

I have been doing this social networking thing for several months and I've been trained to not 'sell' anything on any of my posts and blogs. I've also been taught to only promote and support others. Period. I get the relationship building that happens and I really appreciate that part of it… but when do I get to tell you what I do and what I have to offer you? For example I was the one who suggested the Xango products for your daughter's burns and when I hadn't heard back from you I felt like I had made a party foul (then I got your response and felt better, thanks!) I'd love to know what your experience has been.
http://www.tolovesuccess.com/ Tanya Smith

I totally love that a small band of folks (you included!!) are finally getting to realise that an authentic business is ALL about the Relationship – not the latest turnkey whatever, or techie gismo!! Consumers (and we’re all one of those) are getting so turned off by traditional hardsell on the net, that personality led businesses, if they are from a genuine place of contribution to others, stand out like a beacon
And yes, before you think I’m all woo-woo, we absolutely do need to be financially rewarded for that! It’s finding the balance, and knowing that what we offer is genuinely what someone wants!
Fab post
elizabeth (successservis)

I have been doing this social networking thing for several months and I’ve been trained to not ‘sell’ anything on any of my posts and blogs. I’ve also been taught to only promote and support others. Period. I get the relationship building that happens and I really appreciate that part of it… but when do I get to tell you what I do and what I have to offer you? For example I was the one who suggested the Xango products for your daughter’s burns and when I hadn’t heard back from you I felt like I had made a party foul (then I got your response and felt better, thanks!) I’d love to know what your experience has been.

http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Elizabeth – that’s exactly my point. I suggest that it’s not that you *can’t* sell anything, it’s all in the way you do it, coming from a place of sharing instead of pushing, in not “selling” until there’s a relationship.

I also suggest that for products, it may be great to share information and resources (a blog post, videos) surrounding the same topic as the product, to build a relationship with people who are likely to be a target customer … or who may be potential J/V partners once they get to know you & your info.

And, for someone like me who gets a ton of emails/DMs/@’s, etc., when I don’t reply sometimes it’s just because I’m overwhelmed!

http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Elizabeth – that's exactly my point. I suggest that it's not that you *can't* sell anything, it's all in the way you do it, coming from a place of sharing instead of pushing, in not “selling” until there's a relationship.

I also suggest that for products, it may be great to share information and resources (a blog post, videos) surrounding the same topic as the product, to build a relationship with people who are likely to be a target customer … or who may be potential J/V partners once they get to know you & your info.

And, for someone like me who gets a ton of emails/DMs/@'s, etc., when I don't reply sometimes it's just because I'm overwhelmed!

elizabeth

Thanks E. I just signed up for your email blasts, I’m downloading that huge ass file from your site and I just shared my first email from you with some friends. Looking forward to more… Have an amazing day

http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

And you're right … we are all selling all the time, we are all selling ourselves every day, to all the people we are in a relationship with, whether about business or in our personal lives. It is interesting how we get caught up in the badness of the “sell” word.

And thanks Tony, I think that admitting how messy I am is why some people resonate with me … because really, we're all messy.
http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Yes, this is so huge for me because my default is to give and give and care about everyone else … and forget to take care of myself. And then I get burned out, resentful, etc. We can only give & take care of others once we are filled up … we give from our overflowing.
http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Thanks Sandy, it was so great to see that you joined us in this program. And isn't it funny how we all let go of those icky tactics, and things changed.
http://www.parlancetraining.com/ Isabel Parlett

I had a similar insight about changing the tone and feeling of my marketing this fall, after a launch that fell flat. I just got tired of doing marketing that felt like pushing and where I felt like I had to be something I wasn't to poke and prod people into action. Bleah.

Now, my rule of thumb is to only do marketing efforts that feels good to me, that I enjoy for their own sake, and that puts me into the space of not caring so much how many sales a particular effort makes because I am having fun.

I think this more personal relationship-oriented selling to a larger audience is the wave of the future. I can hear the difference now in emails and on teleseminars. I can feel when someone is yanking my chain to get the sale, and when they are courageously putting themselves out there.
http://www.parlancetraining.com/ Isabel Parlett

I had a similar insight about changing the tone and feeling of my marketing this fall, after a launch that fell flat. I just got tired of doing marketing that felt like pushing and where I felt like I had to be something I wasn’t to poke and prod people into action. Bleah.

Now, my rule of thumb is to only do marketing efforts that feels good to me, that I enjoy for their own sake, and that puts me into the space of not caring so much how many sales a particular effort makes because I am having fun.

I think this more personal relationship-oriented selling to a larger audience is the wave of the future. I can hear the difference now in emails and on teleseminars. I can feel when someone is yanking my chain to get the sale, and when they are courageously putting themselves out there.

http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Yes, and people are so much more sensitive to that now, maybe we are all become more sophisticated, maybe it’s because of the internet & the wide availability of information … but the push just doesn’t work. We can sense it coming now.

katcaverly

Finally the truth “But I didn’t just care about you. I also cared about me.” Brava!
katcaverly

Finally the truth “But I didn’t just care about you. I also cared about me.” Brava!
lindaeaves

Like I tweeted earlier – The more I learn the more I realize how much I don't know.
Right now I just float through and listen to who I resonate with. Trusting that the right things will come my way. The world is still flat but its becoming more round. The difference is that I'm not so nervous about the “not knowing”.
http://lindaeaves.com Linda Eaves

Like I tweeted earlier – The more I learn the more I realize how much I don’t know.
Right now I just float through and listen to who I resonate with. Trusting that the right things will come my way. The world is still flat but its becoming more round. The difference is that I’m not so nervous about the “not knowing”.

http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

And that’s so huge, trusting that the right things will come your way. The secret is, as long as I’m paying attention, really in the moment … then I do see the right things as they appear.

jackhatfield

Elizabeth, Susie Shina turned me onto you. I hope she tells you about me as well. Together, Susie and I are launching something to get people working because I care as you do.

http://www.naturalsuccessprinciples.com/affiliate

tells of our struggles going to these things, listening to the hard sells, soft sells, words, promises, and leaving empty handed. I set out now to change a generation. I am not here to sell you or anyone anything. I only want to be a catalyst in their dreams. I want to make people understand that they have the power inside them.

So we are with you on this journey.
jackhatfield

Elizabeth, Susie Shina turned me onto you. I hope she tells you about me as well. Together, Susie and I are launching something to get people working because I care as you do.

http://www.naturalsuccessprinciples.com/affiliate

tells of our struggles going to these things, listening to the hard sells, soft sells, words, promises, and leaving empty handed. I set out now to change a generation. I am not here to sell you or anyone anything. I only want to be a catalyst in their dreams. I want to make people understand that they have the power inside them.

So we are with you on this journey.
http://Fitarella.com/ Jacqueline Carly

Because you DO care!! – THAT is what made being in the 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth Project so awesomely amazing for me. You LISTENED and asked me the HARD questions that needed to be asked which made the journey so worth it.

And the answer is Venti Skinny Caramel Macchiato!
ypadgett

I think your “secret” with this launch was that you were launching something that you've become known for and you look like you enjoy the videos and they are effective for you, so others want a piece of that action. So I think you were “selling” the thing that many of them are primed to want to know more about and you are a great resource for that! They want what you got

So I'm kind of off the opinion that to the people who wanted to know about videos and how to make them, you couldn't have said anything wrong in your copy and to those who are not interested in videos, you couldn't have said anything in your copy that got them to purchase. You have collected a video loving audience, so that's why this shift in your business is perfect.
Jacqueline Carly

Because you DO care!! – THAT is what made being in the 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth Project so awesomely amazing for me. You LISTENED and asked me the HARD questions that needed to be asked which made the journey so worth it.

And the answer is Venti Skinny Caramel Macchiato!

http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Thanks so much Jacqui, it was such an honor working w/ you, and I’m so glad you appreciated me asking the hard questions.

ypadgett

I think your “secret” with this launch was that you were launching something that you’ve become known for and you look like you enjoy the videos and they are effective for you, so others want a piece of that action. So I think you were “selling” the thing that many of them are primed to want to know more about and you are a great resource for that! They want what you got

So I’m kind of off the opinion that to the people who wanted to know about videos and how to make them, you couldn’t have said anything wrong in your copy and to those who are not interested in videos, you couldn’t have said anything in your copy that got them to purchase. You have collected a video loving audience, so that’s why this shift in your business is perfect.
http://lisaangelettieblog.com/ Lisa Angelettie

Man! That was a really powerful post. One that spoke to me. You're so right. I look forward as always to see your evolution and to try some of those strategies in my own biz. Also, on a side note – will you keep the name Potts-Weinstein?
http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Yes, I'm keeping Potts Weinstein b/c it's my name & I don't have any marriage connotations w/ it … lots of value in my biz / social media. And besides, when you google it, it comes up w/ me.
http://lisaangelettieblog.com/ Lisa Angelettie

Man! That was a really powerful post. One that spoke to me. You’re so right. I look forward as always to see your evolution and to try some of those strategies in my own biz. Also, on a side note – will you keep the name Potts-Weinstein?

http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Yes, I’m keeping Potts Weinstein b/c it’s my name & I don’t have any marriage connotations w/ it … lots of value in my biz / social media. And besides, when you google it, it comes up w/ me.

http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Thanks so much Jacqui, it was such an honor working w/ you, and I'm so glad you appreciated me asking the hard questions.
http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

And that's so huge, trusting that the right things will come your way. The secret is, as long as I'm paying attention, really in the moment … then I do see the right things as they appear.
http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Yes, and people are so much more sensitive to that now, maybe we are all become more sophisticated, maybe it's because of the internet & the wide availability of information … but the push just doesn't work. We can sense it coming now.
http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

Radical honesty is so amazing. Actually just telling people what we think, how we feel, what's the freaking problem … is hard at first, but takes so much less energy than passive aggressive, hiding stuff, push selling, whatever.

And that's also the thing, being transparent on our blogs, sharing the stuff that we do that's dumb or doesn't work out, or even just personal life stuff … most people are afraid to share that. But it's all true, we all are have crap and insanity and personal stuff going on … and just by having the guts to share it, we bond with our readers. And … can inspire them to do awesometastic stuff.
http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

omg, doesn't it drive you nuts when people say “the prices is going up on __ day!” and it is total b.s., it's a script that just changes the day or whatever. I mean, as if no one will ever notice? wtf.

thanks so much jen!
http://www.lisarobbinyoung.com Lisa Robbin Young

In order for any business to work, there has to be a reciprocity. Sometimes we get caught up in the give and forget to get. Sometimes, particularly in internet marketing circles, it becomes more about the get than the give.

Your epiphany stems from something I call “mutual admiration”. The idea that it's okay to give a rip about your clients AND make a profit, without being salesy, cheesy, or snotty. That people, at their core, are inherently good, and we all want to believe in the notion that a rising tide lifts all ships.

I mean, if we're TRULY building a business that we love, that serves our perfect-fit customers, then, by golly, shouldn't we be using marketing and serving our customers in the way that matches the culture we're trying to create in our business? It should work, right?

Yes. It does. It's fear and the myths of all those that came before us that lead us to believe otherwise.

Screw that.

Thanks for raising the tide in your end of the pool.
http://www.lisarobbinyoung.com Lisa Robbin Young

In order for any business to work, there has to be a reciprocity. Sometimes we get caught up in the give and forget to get. Sometimes, particularly in internet marketing circles, it becomes more about the get than the give.

Your epiphany stems from something I call “mutual admiration”. The idea that it’s okay to give a rip about your clients AND make a profit, without being salesy, cheesy, or snotty. That people, at their core, are inherently good, and we all want to believe in the notion that a rising tide lifts all ships.

I mean, if we’re TRULY building a business that we love, that serves our perfect-fit customers, then, by golly, shouldn’t we be using marketing and serving our customers in the way that matches the culture we’re trying to create in our business? It should work, right?

Yes. It does. It’s fear and the myths of all those that came before us that lead us to believe otherwise.

Screw that.

Thanks for raising the tide in your end of the pool.
http://APeacefulResolution.com/ Andrew Lightheart

Caring about you and caring about me.

#thisisworthabunchofmoneytome

(Oh – is this not Twitter?)
http://APeacefulResolution.com/ Andrew Lightheart

Caring about you and caring about me.

#thisisworthabunchofmoneytome

(Oh – is this not Twitter?)
http://APeacefulResolution.com/ Andrew Lightheart

Caring about you and caring about me.

#thisisworthabunchofmoneytome

(Oh – is this not Twitter?)
http://www.accessabundance.com/ Teresa Romain

Thank you Elizabeth!

You gave me a great gift by tweeting the link for this retro blog today. You spoke exactly what I’ve gone through… from being really good at the “sell tactics” and making pretty good money to “getting religion” and not wanting to do that at all (and not making much money). And now I see the middle ground… that it’s about caring and truth and integrity. But that that includes me. And this couldn’t be more timelier because today I’m working on my “backend” at a speaking event I’ve been hired for this weekend. So thank you for showing me another way. Thank you!
http://www.accessabundance.com/ Teresa Romain

Thank you Elizabeth!

You gave me a great gift by tweeting the link for this retro blog today. You spoke exactly what I've gone through… from being really good at the “sell tactics” and making pretty good money to “getting religion” and not wanting to do that at all (and not making much money). And now I see the middle ground… that it's about caring and truth and integrity. But that that includes me. And this couldn't be more timelier because today I'm working on my “backend” at a speaking event I've been hired for this weekend. So thank you for showing me another way. Thank you!
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http://twitter.com/MasterSellingDF Donald Fleming

Hi! This is such a great article and I am sure a lot of people who have been struggling to do better at everything are going to benefit from this. I have been giving advice like these to many up and coming business people and have been successful so far. I am Donald Brownlie Fleming, an Australian Entrepreneur, ebook author (Master Selling by Donald Brownlie Fleming) and a Philanthropist. If you have time, maybe you can visit me too:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_ATM
http://twitter.com/MasterSellingDF Donald Fleming

Hi! This is such a great article and I am sure a lot of people who have been struggling to do better at everything are going to benefit from this. I have been giving advice like these to many up and coming business people and have been successful so far. I am Donald Brownlie Fleming, an Australian Entrepreneur, ebook author (Master Selling by Donald Brownlie Fleming) and a Philanthropist. If you have time, maybe you can visit me too:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_ATM
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