Last year she enjoyed her 2-year old classroom, because she made some great friends (yes, little kids can make best friends, isn’t that amazing!), and with only 4 kids per adult, she got tons of teacher-attention.  Not so with her 3-year old “official preschool” room.  Her best friends were split off into other classrooms, and she did not find a new best friend in her new group.  While her teachers were caring, with only 2 teachers to a room full of kids, they spent most of their time leading the group (and managing the messes), instead of 1:1 attention to any child.  Just like regular school, it’s impossible for teachers to really run it any other way. 

I had planned on her going to her preschool 6 hours a week until the end of the school year, to give me time to figure out other solutions.  

But on December 30, 2008 my daughter said quietly to no one in particular as she got in the car, “The is the last day I’m going to this school.”  

What?  What are you talking about? 

“Mommy, I don’t like this school.  So I decided that today is the last day I’m coming here.”  

Now mind you, I had teleclasses planned, shows scheduled, meetings on calendar … and no solution for keeping her amused while I ran the business and fulfilled my commitments.  After panicking for a few hours, I realized that I needed to listen to my daughter.  This is a girl who loves nannies and babysitters, who used to love school, and who loves learning.  This wasn’t about discipline … it’s that her current program was not the right fit.  And that was one of the big reasons I had planned on homeschooling her in the first place … so why not start today?  

Instead of continuing to freak out, I broke down our needs into a few categories (yes, I do have a logical side, are you surprised?).  Preschool (and school in general) was not the only solution for our needs — time to put on the creative-problem-solver hat!  

Dear Daughter (DD) Needs

• Learning the basics (reading, writing, math) 
• Learning fun extra stuff (i.e., science, arts & crafts, history/cultures, music) 
• Exposure to different types of people/things/cultures
• Playing with other kids (same age and mixed ages)
• Attention from other adults (esp. since our families are out of town)
• Running around & other high-energy physical activity
• Just getting out of the house
• Attention from mom  

Categories for DD:  Learning, People, Activity

Elizabeth’s Needs

• Quiet, uninterrupted time/space to write
• Place to record videos & audios
• Quiet space to return phone calls
• Place to teach teleclasses, guests on radio shows
• Childcare for speaking engagements
• Childcare for out-of-town travel to meetings, seminars, conferences
• Time with grown-ups
• Time to answer email, manage staff
• Time for social networking and online marketing
• Time to read, listen to teleclasses, learn new stuff
• Time to run technical part of website, upload files, posts to blog
• Time to do housework and run errands
• Time for hobbies like hiking, crafts, reading, cooking, gardening
• Time for traveling, meeting new people, experiencing nature
• Quality time with DD

Categories for Elizabeth:  Quiet, Out-of-Town, Teaching, Computer, Fun

And I realized that there was no one solution that worked for us.  And that’s important.  So many times in life we are looking for one “magical” solution to our needs, but it takes a creative assembly of resources to craft a solution to each of our unique concerns. 

Solution #1:  Co-working/childcare

My first search was to look for childcare on demand in an environment that did not seem like a child storage facility (you know what I mean!), where she would have fun and be safe while I could have concentrated work time.  And, I wanted something cost effective yet flexible, so I can get more time when I’m working on a project yet not have to pay for time I don’t use.  

Cubes and Crayons has been on my radar for a few months.  They are a co-working / childcare-on-demand place, where parents can work in a room while the kids are playing in another room down the hall under supervision by certified peeps.  You can pay by the hour or buy hours in blocks of time — either way you just schedule time a few days before and use it as you go. So we signed up for a few hours to try them out.

DD loves playing in a room of mixed ages (ages 3 months to 5 years), with small child-teacher ratio (since they are going by the lower age group rules) and where she knows that I’m down the hall if there is a major problem.  I suspect that she does crafts for hours — she usually has 4-5 completed projects when I go down the hall to pick her up.  What’s her favorite part?  ”My favorite part is the little babies.”  

For me, I’m working (right now, actually) in a room of other adults who are also all working on their computers.  Kind of a great peer pressure for me to be productive, unlike at home where I can always find laundry to do or books to read.  These people are looking at me (not really, but) so I can’t be futzing around on twitter instead of working on my work.  I’m using the quiet time primarily for writing; I’ve been neglecting writing original content and the urge to write something new has been driving me nuts.  Also a great time for phone calls (just step outside for privacy) and mind-mapping or journaling.  

Solution #2:  Classes for DD

Here in the Silicon Valley there are TONS of classes for kids to learn everything such as gymnastics, drama, cooking, musical instruments, art, or gardening.  And now that DD’s is almost 4 years old, she’s eligible for the lowest level of these classes (and they are not parent participation, btw).  I’m trying her out in gymnastics and drama first (it would be so each to over-schedule us with everything available!).  

What needs does this fulfill?  DD gets to play with other kids, spend time with other adults (usually these classes are 1:4 or 1:6 ratio), and learn fun new information or skills.  In gymnastics she also gets tons of running-around and high-energy-play time. I also get a little alone time for writing, reading, or computer time while she’s in class.  

Solution #3:  Temp Nannies 

We’ve been using a local nanny service (Town and Country Resources) to supply temporary nannies for a few years for date nights or when I travel.  Yes, they are a bit different than babysitters, because they tend to be professional nannies who are in-between jobs or are moonlighting, have tons of experience, are non-teenagers, are screened by the agency (and the state), and are a bit expensive (especially around here!). 

But DD has NEVER been upset or cried when I left her with one of these women.  Why?  Because she gets the undivided attention (how often is my attention undivided?) of a loving adult who is being paid to hang out with her all day.  Typically they walk to the park or library, do arts & crafts (that are too messy to try my patience), read tons of books, cook together, and play.  

Not only are nannies a great solution for when I travel, but they are solving the challenge of time for me to teach classes and record videos/audio — where I need a private, quiet space with a land line and computer.  For DD, she gets to learn new stuff and gets 1:1 time with a fun adult.  

Solution #4:  Homeschooling

In April of last year I realized that I wanted to start homeschooling DD now, instead of waiting for when my business was “ready” (does that ever happen?) or when she was school-age.  Now, of course, she’s 3 years old, so we don’t really do “school” (and I doubt we will ever do “school”).  All we did was set up one room as the “learning room” and fill it full of materials for (science, math, phonics) projects, educational books, great fiction books, workbooks (she thinks they are great fun), and learning materials for preschoolers (blocks for math, chalkboard & wood pieces for writing, sand-cards for phonics).  

DD has a little desk for her to draw or do worksheets, a great chair for cuddling while reading, and a little table to do our projects.  Each day we spend some time in the learning room, which DD regards as just a place to do fun projects with mom (learning is the great side effect!).  

But it’s not just what we do in the learning room.  Homeschooling is not school-at-home, it’s a style of parenting, it’s a lifestyle, it’s what we do everywhere.  From grocery shopping to walking through the park to weeding the garden, everything we do has opportunities for quality time and the joy of learning something new (or practicing/teaching what we already have learned).  She weighs fruits, counts buttons, points out letters, color-devides laundry, categories utensils, and names plants in the flower bed.  Let me tell you, chores and errands are so much more fun for me when we are doing them together in this purposeful, intentional way.   

Now at home she also spends time each day amusing herself.  That may be making up stories, doing crafts, playing with toys, running around in the backyard, or watching a video.  For a girl who never wants to be alone, it’s a good way for her to build her playing-alone and creative-play muscles.  And while she amuses herself, I do computer work, like social networking, emailing, managing staff, or updating my blog. 

Solution #5:  Travel, Day-trips, and Field Trips

Both DD and I love to travel — her because she loves to meet new people and see new things, and I love to experience nature and different cultures.   She loves flying (bonds with random people in airports), loves staying in hotels (pools!  big bathtubs!) and is convinced that something exciting will always happen on a trip (ducks at papa’s house!  fast boat ride!  disneyland!).  

The one big challenge has been that my husband’s practice is not compatible with vacation planning (client pitches, court dates, brief deadlines).  So I finally realized that DD and I can travel alone (especially since we can homeschool and I can run my business from anywhere), both for short day-trip as well as longer vacations.

The ideas is that each month we will go on a few “field trips” – such as to a zoo, nature preserve, state park, beach, or museum.  Then once a month we will go on a longer day/overnight trip to some where we will both love and have fun, such as Santa Cruz or San Francisco.  Then every couple months we will go on a big trip, just the two of us.  Our first big trip is a 4-day cruise (my first cruise too!) from Los Angeles to Mexico – they do provide childcare on board so I can get a few breaks, and the ship is set up to amuse kids.  I also have plans for a train ride to Portland (she’s really excited about sleeping on a train!) and international group tours once she’s a bit older.  

Will I get any work done on these trips?  Hum, depends upon the trip, of course.  DD does go to sleep at 7:30 PM, so I will have time, but I may prefer to spend that time reading or journaling instead of futzing with email.  But I know I’ll get time to experience nature and have fun.  

Would Multiple Solutions Work For You? 

If you are challenged by marketing, getting new clients, dealing with childcare, or de-weeding your lawn, your solution may not be just one “magical” thing.  Break down what you really need — you may find may be better to use 2, 5, or 7 different solutions to replace whatever is not working in your life.  And, once you diversify your solutions you are less dependent upon one of them breaking (for example, if Cubes and Crayons goes under, I already have other solutions to hold me over until I find a replacement).  

So what’s not working for you today?  

That’s because you have made a grave mistake. 

You must practice Complete Delegation, or it’s a waste of your time.

What do I mean by Complete Delegation? 

Let me give you a specific example.  When I first hired a personal assistant, each week I would create a grocery list, a Target list, and an errand list.  That took me a while, sometimes 15-30 minutes, if not more.  I was frustrated, because I didn’t really feel any less stressed.  Yes, I didn’t have to go to the grocery store, but I spent almost the same amount of time coming up with the grocery shopping list!

I read an chapter by Jack Canfield in his book Success Princples, where he talked about delegating grocery shopping, and realized I had made an error.  Up until then, my assistant was responsible for the task of purchasing groceries I listed on the the grocery list.  But, I needed to completely delegate the entire grocery shopping process to my assistant, and make her responsible for the end result — my family having the food we need for the week. 

For two weeks, I had her keep track of what we got, and then make up a master grocery and paper goods list.  Now, each week, she spends 30 minutes going through the house, making an inventory of what we need.  Now, I don’t spend any time on re-delegating this to her over and over.  Now, I really feel like this responsibility is off my plate. 

Have you been making the same mistake?  From everything from filing and paperwork to chores and errands, see if you are delegating the task over and over, or if you are practicing Complete Delegation.  BTW – this works not just for assistants, but also for husbands and kids. 

#1 – I Get Help – Delegate!

Difficult for many of us perfectionists to do, but necessary if you want to achieve big results in more than one area of your life. It’s very hard, if not impossible, to do everything 100%, at least not at the same time. 

Personal Assistant – I hired someone to run my errands, 3 hours per week. She does my grocery shopping, dry cleaning run, mail & bank run, Target shopping, office supplies, and returns to the mall. She also helps me with organizing closets and sorting through piles of stuff for charity, as well as random projects, like finding a good long term storage place. 

Virtual Assistant - I have a virtual assistant for my business who answers my phone, answers my email and website inquiries, transcribes audio, formats documents, does research, compiles data, does data entry, and other random stuff. She works for me 2-10 hours per week. 

Miscellaneous Delegation – guy who does the lawn every other week, service that cleans the house every other week. Occasional babysitters (no family in town to do that). 

#2: I’m always learning 

I’m constantly taking online classes, listening to audio self-study programs, going to seminars, watching DVD classes, and reading books (about 2-4 per week). About business strategy, writing copy, financial planning, law, personal growth, computer software, law of attraction, and … astronomy, linguistics, decorating, travel, child development, and … biographies and fiction (epic fantasy). Keeps my brain constantly growing, and gives me tons of ideas for my business & life. 

#3: I know myself 

I hate cleaning, so I hire that out. I would go nuts with Gracie here all day, so she’s in preschool some of the time. I never remember to pay the bills, so I have most of them on autopay. I forget to do our IRA contributions, so I have them on auto investing. I forget to buy fruits & veges, so I have them delivered. 

#4: Cut out what’s not working 

I stopped watching TV after Gracie was about 6 months old. I still watch some nature, history, and science shows, some movies, and educational DVDs, but I stopped watching regular TV shows. Wow, that gave me hours every day to spend on other stuff — my business, reading, playing with Gracie, or whatever. I quit volunteering with the Junior League. It’s a great organization, but I was not getting much out of it anymore, and it was a HUGE time committment, especially in the evenings (and I always had to get a babysitter). What a relief to resign – now I can spend my volunteer hours and dollars exactly how I want, targeted to my particular goals, and on my ideal time schedule. 

Do you have secrets to your success? Leave a comment and share your ideas …