Tears of suffering from the harsh lies of the bitch in the corner. Tears of hopelessness, tears of trapped, tears of working, pushing, forcing, trying to make it happen so hard, for so long, so many times that it seems pitiful, idiocy, failure to continue.

And with deadlines looming ahead of me, of when I will no longer receive support, of when debts will be called, of when it must happen or else …. I wonder.

Is the fear right?

Maybe this is impossible.

Maybe continuing this thing is throwing good time, good money, good energy after bad.

Maybe, even though I change people’s lives, even though I’ve experienced more joy and connection and freedom in the last few years than I thought was possible, even though I know there are people that I have yet to help …

Maybe this venture is doomed.

So I wonder … is there another option?

Another option that seems more reasonable.

More likely. More endorsed by society and logic and the bitch in my head.

Well yes. There is another option.

The other option is to go back.

Back to safety, to stability, to a guaranteed paycheck with a great 401(k) and health package and a few weeks of vacation every year.

Back to becoming that girl.

Well … that’s only sort of an option.

You see, that 401(k) menagerie has been ruined for me forever.

Now I know that there is no safe, that the stability is an artifice, that there are no guarantees.

Now that I know, going back would be the foolish choice.

I wish there was some third choice.

Something real but not scary.

Something changing the world, but not risky.

Something following my purpose, without having to face my lessons.

But that’s not how it works, eh?

It’s feel the fear, or it’s be the fool.

We can choose to live in uncomfortable, to take the risks, to grow past our boundaries … or we can choose to push our heads back inside the sand, to chicken out, to shrink our souls.

There is no in between.

#fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

That is all, my loves. Goodnight.

Would you like to try out the 18 Days to Live Your Truth ecourse before you make the commitment?

Today I’m sharing the first “pre-unit” class, exercise & experiment from 18 Days (this is the actual class that I just posted on the password-protected membership site) so you can check it out & see if it’s your kind of thing.

Even if you’re not into 18 Days, these are great questions to think about to get you started on the right track for any program you’re joining!

Pre-Unit: Before 18 Days – Get Unstuck Before You Start

In this unit you will learn:

• What questions you need to ask yourself before you start any program – and which answers mean you need to stop now.
• How to troubleshoot sabotage … before it starts.
• The best way to track success at & keep going in any program.

Don’t forget to download the Before 18 Days Exercise pdf & the Experiment pdf!

In the actual 18 Days to Live Your Truth program, you also will have an opportunity to share your experience with the other members of the program, get their feedback, hear my post-exercise/experiment follow up information, and ask questions.

But in the meanwhile – feel free to share your answers & questions here, below!

Also – 18 Days to Live Your Truth closes to enrollment on Monday, June 6th at 9:00 PM Pacific time – so don’t wait to learn more and ask your questions!

Someone who is comfortable in front of an audience. A group. A camera.

Who can connect with people, talk to anyone, convey a message. Even occasionally create a little scared space for transformation to occur.

Until Sunday morning.

When I realized that all my lofty considerations were just hiding a deeper level of bullshit.

It was 10:15 AM on Sunday morning, and I stood in front of the group and announced, “I want to talk about how I’m freaking out.”

It was one of those “share your ah’a moments from last night” things at a training seminar, and after about 7 other people had gone, it was my turn at the microphone.

I’m usually one of those people, who sits in the front row, who shares over and over, who everyone knows by the end of the weekend.

But not this weekend.

I had been hiding.

Behind the tall girl, stuck in the middle, in the back rows, not raising my hand, thinking about leaving, hiding in the bathroom, eating room service for dinner, thinking that perhaps this was a bit too much for me, listing the thousand reasons I didn’t have time and it was not a good idea and maybe I should wait until next year.

As I stood there in front of the group, I decided to fuck it all and tell the whole truth.

The whole truth I didn’t even know yet, until it started blabbering out of my mouth.

I was afraid.

I had got really comfortable hiding in front of the camera.

The idea of sharing my truth with people face to face, with projecting my energy out to everyone, completely freaked me out.

Then Alison (the seminar leader) interrupted me. And said it.

“Look at them.”

“Don’t look at me. Don’t look over their heads. Look. At. Them.”

I couldn’t.

I couldn’t look at anyone in the face and keep speaking my truth.

I broke down and cried, right there, in front of audience, listening that little “awh” noise welling up from them, making me feel comforted and mortified at the same time.

WTF EPW?!!

I’m a speaker! I’ve spoken in front of groups of hundreds of people! Why was I unable to stay composed before an intimate group of 100 people who were all rooting for me to succeed?

Because …

There Is No Group.

The group, the tribe, the crowd, the audience … doesn’t exist.

That’s just a construction, a way to dehumanize, a way to oversimplify, a way to categorize, a way to create an artifice of safety for those of us up on the stage.

The group doesn’t scare me.

Individuals scare me. People scare me.

While yes, I’m totally able to speak my truth, be myself, share all kinds of information and stories, while in front of a camera or written on a blog or up on a stage …

I share nothing.

I risk nothing. I reveal nothing.

The energy of me stops at the edge of my skin.

At the front of the stage. At the keys on the laptop. At the lens of my camera.

The apparent courage and fearlessness and strength … is a shell.

Because the strength comes from hiding. Protecting. Shielding.

Not from allowing myself to be vulnerable in front of people whom I do not yet trust.

Not from taking a leap of faith, letting the unknowns see my soul, opening myself up to rejection and criticism and damage from people unprescreened, unverified, unresearched.

And a part of me is completely convinced that I will spontaneously die from it.

Just drop dead from energetic overwhelm. While still holding the microphone.

So that’s one of the boundaries I’m working on right now.

Making the leap from hiding in front of the camera, to exposing my soul face to face, sharing and extending my energy over the interwebz, the soundsystem, the coffee table.

And let’s all hope I don’t spontaneously combust.

–

I’d love to hear from you!

What are you afraid of? Speaking in front of a group, writing your truth, the camera, speaking with people one-on-one? What boundary are you pushing right now?

I confirmed my safety via text, and then checked sfgate.com (the mobile website of the San Francisco Chronicle) thinking they would have the latest “official” news.

Found nothing except general “yay we won the World Series” stuff. Hum.

So I went to twitter. (Of course.)

Yes. There it was. Thousands of people had been rioting most of the night after the SF Giants won the World Series – most of those riots taking place a few blocks from my apartment.

Even confirmed by the people checking into the riots via 4square. (lol & wtf.)

(Why does the local team succeeding inspire some people to go out and run around screaming, break bottles, set fires, and sabotage the municipal bus system? Sigh.)

But the San Francisco Chronicle called this “joyful mayhem” – as if calling it “joyful” makes it okay. As if this behavior is a necessary part of victory. As if rioting about a sporting event is part of free speech and free assembly, a celebrated part of what it means to be American.

Yet another reason I don’t read the paper.

But the thing is, this bullshit spin on reality happens everywhere. From everyone.

In politics (thank god I don’t have TV this election season so I missed the nasty commercials), in our romantic relationships, in our marketing, even subtly in our 140 character tweets.

Human beings naturally spin facts and truth to manipulate the people around them into thinking, being, behaving how they want.

So we can hide our fears we wish to never be discovered. So we can get others to fulfill our needs we’re afraid to ask for. So we can force people to do what we wish they would do anyway.

We all do this.

Sometimes because we aren’t aware we are doing it.

Sometimes because we are afraid no one will meet our needs until we trick them.

Sometimes because we have no other framework except subtle manipulation and outright force.

This is the current frontier of Live Your Truth.

It’s all nice and good to have your Moment & get all self-actualized. In a vacuum.

But we live in a world of other humans.

And we still need to get stuff done.

We need to get our needs met. We need to deal with people who may never get us and those who are also on this journey, with people who don’t give a crap about our mission and those who are totally on board, with people who have never read a self-help book and those who are all about yogaish woowoo self-improvementness.

The question is – how do we do deal with people and also live our truth?

In a few days I’ll be sharing my newest program, Live Your Truth in Partnership, where we will be exploring this for the next 10 months.

A framework for understanding ourselves and each other. For making deals so everyone gets what they need, without anyone being “taken.” For working, living, loving other people – simultaneously living our own truth without squashing theirs.

For building partnerships with every person in our lives – family, friends, partners, significant others, kids, clients, coworkers, colleagues – so we can support each other, create win-win dynamics, and still all be completely ourselves.

Want to join me on this new adventure?

If so … get on the First Dibs list so you don’t miss the announcement!

And now that horrid, sickening feeling is coursing through your body.

Your mind, your gut, your very cells, the genes passed down to you from your caveperson ancestors who needed them to flee saber-toothed tigers and various impending dooms are all screaming at you:

STOP! IMMINENT DANGER! YOU WILL MAKE YOURSELF DEAD IF YOU JUMP OFF THIS CLIFF!

Worse, they’re shooting hormones through you, sabotaging your great leaps of spirit and faith, by dragging you back down into basic human-animal survival mode.

Into acting practically. Into acting rationally.

Into the deadening morass of the management of risk.

Unless.

Unless you make the choice that makes your ego, the bitch in the corner, the resistance monster, and the caveperson in you all cringe in fear and disbelief, wanting to gang up on you to kidnap your soul and stick you with pins until you give into their mediocratic bidding.

Unless you make the completely unreasonable choice.

Unless you choose to live every day in the Uncomfortables.

Yes, you read that right. Live. Every. Day.

Because that is the first terrible secret.

This panic? This fear?

This sense that you need to run or fight or throw up or hide under a warm thick blanket so the unknowns can’t drag you away?

That feeling doesn’t go away.

As long as you are living your truth, as long as you keep pushing your boundaries, as long as you are moving forward and expanding your soul, you will feel scared and uncertain and uncomfortable every single day.

Yes. Every. Day.

But before you run away to wail and beat your chests, deriding the futileness of it all, let me share the second terrible secret with you.

The Uncomfortables are actually a gift.

The Uncomfortables are a tool to help you live with the ramifications of the Moment, to manage the challenges of Living Your Truth.

The trick is to recharacterize the Uncomfortables from a feeling to be avoided – to a feeling to be appreciated. To be cherished.

Reprogramming your brain to use the Uncomfortables as a signpost, customized for your mind, your body, your soul.

A thermometer to measure whether you’re doing something mediocre or magnificent, whether you’re staying in safety or pushing your boundaries, whether you’re stuck in the shoulds or living your truth.

The third terrible secret is that the Uncomfortables always mean something very particular.

Is this Uncomfortable a scary-yet-exciting, a sickening-yet-expansive message from your ego who wants to keep you small and safe? Does it mean, yes, this scary action is exactly what will move you forward on the path to embracing and living your truth?

Then thank your ego for the fear & take the scary action anyway.

Or, is this Uncomfortable a gross, disempowering, deflating message from your soul who wants you to fulfill your purpose on this earth? Telling you that this scary action is a guilt-ridden should that would take you backward into mediocrity, and must be avoided at any cost?

Then thank your soul for the fear & say no to the should.

The fourth terrible secret of the Uncomfortables is only you will know the difference.

Only you will know if the Uncomfortable means hell yes or hell no.

Sorry about that.

–

This is part 3 of The Live Your Truth Manifesto.

–

How do you deal with the fear, with the uncomfortable feelings?

Have they gotten better? Have they changed for you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts below!

Someone asked me that question last summer, and I really didn’t have an answer. At least, not an answer that was just about me, and not about my family, which was my first, automatic response. But this person was quite persistent, and truly wanted to know what brings me joy. Little did I know at the time that that was the beginning of my search for my truth.

That was the match that lit the fire in me… to find the answer to that question. I’d been a wife and mother most of my adult life. Now divorced, my children grown, I could focus on me, on who I am and what I want. On what brings me joy.

And that scared me to death.

Because for so many years, I lived my life for everyone else. How I thought I “should” live. What I thought I “should” do. What I thought others “expected” me to do. Doing things so I wouldn’t disappoint anyone in my life. Doing things that I thought would make me “perfect” so people would like me and love me.

And it was all bullshit. Total and utter bullshit. Because so much of it really wasn’t me. In trying to be the “good girl,” the “people pleaser” that I’ve always been, all of my hopes and dreams got lost and forgotten. I got lost somewhere along the way.

I realized last year that this is my chance for a new beginning – to create the life that I want for myself. But what exactly is that life?

I knew what I didn’t want. But I had to spend a lot of time alone, getting back in touch with me, with who I am deep down inside, to figure out what I do want. And in the silence of that process I found the truth of who I am and what I want… I found my truth.

There has to be something more.

For many years I’ve felt a fluttering inside of me telling me that there’s something more for me… something more I’m meant to do. And for years I pushed it aside. But I now know exactly what that something is, and I’m going for it. Full out. No holds barred. And no turning back. It’s time. Time to pursue my joy, my passion.

Forgiveness

But to be able to start living my truth, I first had to forgive myself for any past mistakes – or perceived past mistakes. To accept all of me, including – and maybe especially – the imperfect parts of me. To accept that I am good enough, just as I am. That was not an easy thing to do. I’m finding that it isn’t easy for any of us.

I’ve learned that living my truth means opening myself up… to the possibility of failure… to the possibility of rejection… of looking stupid… of all the things that are simply mind chatter that have no basis in reality. And it means opening myself up to being vulnerable. But I’ve also learned that it means opening myself up to the possibility of success.

It means getting out of my own self-imposed comfort zone.

Fear keeps us in our comfort zones. It’s safe there. But staying there keeps us from growing. To find my passion, my joy, I knew I had to get out of that comfort zone. And I have. I’ve done things in the past year that I never thought I could, or would do. Things like traveling by myself, attending an actor’s workshop, letting people know what I’m doing, and putting my true self out there in ways I never have before.

It’s a journey, not a destination.

Finding my truth has been a journey, one I continue to embark on every single day. Living my truth has brought joy and passion into my life in ways I only imagined before.

For me, there is no turning back. Something bigger than me keeps pushing me through my doubts and fears to find more and more of my truth. Each doubt or fear that I push through gives me more courage to face the doubts and fears yet to come… for doing more things that are uncomfortable and scare the crap out of me.

Because the truth is that NOT doing these things, not going for what I want full out… hiding behind an employer instead of starting my own business… staying where I am and accepting where I am for the rest of my life… settling… well, that terrifies me more than anything. That and writing this guest post for Elizabeth. When she asked me to do this, I was freaking terrified. But I knew I had to do it. One more fear to face… and conquer.

A Milestone

I turned 50 years old in January. I look at it as starting the second half of my life. Because I do not want to get to the end of my life with any regrets over not having lived my life to its fullest. To do that, I have to put myself out there. I have to take big risks.

I’ve learned that it’s never too late.

I’ve learned that if you have a dream, it’s never too late to pursue it. If I can do this at 50, anyone can do it.

And that’s the truth.

Lori Latimer has two grown sons and a little grandson. After many years as a family law paralegal and going through her own divorce in her late 40s, Lori is now venturing out on her own, helping women find their passion and recreate their lives after divorce. She can be found on Twitter or at her website, http:\lorilatimer.com

One day we planted the tree that wasn’t there before and what happened next symbolized the magnetic power of living your truth.

From out of nowhere birds appeared. One after the other after the other. From nowhere and everywhere, they flocked to the tree that wasn’t there before to hop from branch to branch, chirping and singing as birds like to do.

The idea that wasn’t there before

Your job as an entrepreneur is to plant the idea that wasn’t there before.

Which idea? Yours! Your truth. Not something you think the market wants. Not something you think you should do. Not something you think other people will approve of. Not what makes sense ‘on paper’.

But something YOU feel is important. Your purpose. Your passion. Your truth.

How stepping into my truth changed everything

The idea of building an online resource community for mom entrepreneurs started as a seed of an idea. The idea was to look at how powerful women stepped into leadership roles, authentically and truthfully. She-EO’s.

Why? Because it interested me…kinda. Because I thought the market wanted it. Because I didn’t want to step into the fray of mom business coaches. And it took my mastermind holding up the mirror to show me my true passion.

Motherhood. Moms. Moms in business. Mom-EO’s.

This is the part of the story where you expect to hear that I started pursuing my idea the very next day. That I dropped everything and made it happen. Well I didn’t. I let it sit. Every time it came back to the surface, I pushed it down, ignored it and kept on doing what I thought I should be doing.

But the idea kept coming back around and coming back around until opportunity knocked and I FINALLY answered.

Building the dream that wasn’t there before

Stepping off the ledge and starting to live my truth, pursue the passion, the dream that wasn’t there before was scary. Really scary. What if I share my true dream and then it doesn’t happen? What if people think it’s stupid? What if I mess it up because I don’t know how to make it happen.

What if…I succeed?

The source of the fear is the reason for the magic! Living your truth is…in a word: magnetic! It has an unbelievable power to draw people in, to energize potential, to engage and inspire your audience…

So what are you waiting for?

Carla Young is the Founder & CEO of MOMeo Community.com and Publisher of MOMeo Magazine.com. She’s dedicated to supporting mom entrepreneurs (or mom entrepreneurs-to-be) build work-at-home lifestyle businesses and succeed on THEIR terms at work, at home and in finding a little playtime for mommy!

But the hard part of hiring Ken Moorhead as my amazing new COO was not finding him.

The hard part was getting over my fear of the big scary’s that came up at the thought of bringing another person into my business, and what that means for the company, and for me.

So what scares you?

How are you pushing your boundaries in your business? How are you going to grow?

As I’ve said many times, I can’t tell you what it means to live your truth.

Because it’s your truth.

Not the truth. Not my truth. Not the truth written by the gurus or dictated by institutions or governments or your parents.

But your personal truth.

Now, that’s all nice and good, but you may want a little more freaking direction than that.

I define “living your truth” in two different ways … one is the mission of my company, and other other is my personal definition & the tools I use to apply it in my life.

Live Your Truth empowers solo-entrepreneurs to make a greater contribution to the world and become more successful & fulfilled by doing what is a natural extension of who they really are.

(thanks to Ken Moorhead for yanking this out of me during a late night consulting session)

But that’s not *my* truth and it’s not *your* truth … that’s just what I’m doing here in this business.

Living my truth is about begin 100% myself 100% of the time, about speaking the things that everyone thinks but no one says, about choosing to be uncomfortable every day, about being a visible leader of this movement.

But what could Living Your Truth mean to you?

During the first weekly #lytchat (live your truth twitter chat) we discussed this very question, and here are some of the responses:

• idance_iwrite: Actively letting go of what other’s want from you and listening to your ‘inner voice’
• JanieC: letting the real and best you out of it’s hiding spot
• LisaMHines: Being courteous to others, but not letting them persuade your actions, words, etc.
• kymleeisawesome: knowing what you are & are not responsible for. not doing anything that doesn’t fit your vision for yourself
• tarufisher: For me, #LYT is saying “no” when I mean “no”, and “yes” when I mean “yes”.
• ACCompanyC: disregarding the “shoulds’” – or at least questioning why should I?
• LisaMHines: LYT means staying in a centered place, honoring my true self in everything I do.
• JanieC: getting rid of barriers, real and imagined
• bethearle: For me it’s living my values
• JennaAvery: Having the courage to say what I mean, mean what I say, do what I love, and love what I do, in all things.
• bethearle: practicing outwardly what my inner self knows intuitively
• lizschneider: keeping soul-level promises that i make to myself.
• jaladesigns: 4 me, its simply just being myself instead of trying 2 b perfect. It’s living & operating w/ honesty, integrity & decency.
• lorilatimer: Doing what’s right for me, not what anyone else thinks or wants
• lizschneider: Living my truth means, “walking my talk”, speaking what I think and doing what I speak
• truthlifecoach: It’s about honoring my core values and trusting my “gut”
• jhaubein: Being yourself no matter what others might think of you. Staying true to your values.
• daniellemmiller: making sure my purpose and values are not compromised by my head worrying about what others think
• jenngbob: Living my truth means not feeling guilty for doing what I intuitively feel I should be doing right now
• ChristineVenart: For me, living my truth means to show up as myself always, push myself past my fears, and to say the hard truth
• kymleeisawesome: not being afraid to take that leap of faith, facing down the fear and moving forward into uncertainty
• lorilatimer: It also means saying “no” when that’s what’s best for me – something I didn’t used to do
• KyraHowell: Living my truth means knowing my vision and allowing that to be my life.
• m_michael: Living my truth: Being fearless w/o recklessness
• YourGoToGuy: Simply doing instead of worrying.
• daniellemmiller: complete trust in my intuition and “gut”
• chrisarcucci: speaking & living my truth with compassion and clarit
• lorilatimer: Getting out of my head and listening to my heart/intuition
• bethearle: not following the crowd/ marching to my own drum
• MarySchaefer: Giving myself permission to be BIG and small and loving myself in any state

So … I’d love to hear your thoughts & ideas, by you commenting below …

… do any of these resonate with you? What do the words “live your truth” mean to you?

And, we love for you to RSVP and join us for the next Live Your Truth twitter chat (#lytchat) - it’s free and open to anyone to join (yes, to participate in the conversation you need a twitter account). See you there!

I have always loved to sing, but stopped singing in public when I was in 7th grade, when another girl got the lead in the church musical. At the time, I did not realized it was because unlike me, she had been taking singing & dancing lessons for years. But I viewed that as confirmation that singing was not my calling, and from then on, only sang to myself.

So here’s a little song for my Live Your Truth peeps, the first time I’ve sang in “public” in 20 years. Not only is this an example of doing something (very!) uncomfortable, but also a way of bringing a seemingly-unrelated passion into my business (as we discussed in 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth).

Why am I posting the video on my blog?

Well, because the very idea of posting it in public for everyone to see kind of makes me want to throw up. So, that means I totally have to do it. Cause that’s how I roll.

And … be nice.